Thursday, April 20, 2006

Cat Scratch Fever - 6

Can we get a hit for the love of David Allen Wright?

Keith went off this inning about how he doesn't like Wade Boggs, saying "it wouldn't surprise him" if that whole Hall of Fame hat/D-Rays/payola thing was true. Me neither. What a jerk!

2-1

Cat Scratch Fever - 5

1-2-3 inning for Stevie Trax. Remarkable.

This inning's major concern is what exactly is going on with Los Beltran's hammy, as he has exited the game. Since the Mets' dugout is run with the iron-fisted oversight of Chinese President Hu's press outings from the South Lawn, we may never know.

2-1 Ratzingers

Cat Scratch Fever - 4

Man, Kaz Matsui. I can't get over that. That's creepy, isn't it, how he hits a homer every year to start the season then sucks terribly.
You know what else is creepy? That guy in the Harry Potter movies who looks exactly like Elliot Smith.

Petco Park strikes me as a ballpark that would be tons of fun in video games. If a bunch of 8-year-olds could create dimensions to a ballpark, it would look exactly like this.

Cat Scratch Fever - 3

KAZ MATSUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, I can't remember the last Mets inside the parker. What a hit! What an athlete! Greatest Asian professional athlete in the world besides Kristi Yamaguchi and Hines Ward. Trade him now.

We scored. They did too.

Cat Scratch Fever - 2

Keith Hernandez hates to flaw across the country. And did we ever hear about it this inning. He abhors it. Had to wake up at 5:45 a.m. and fly to one of the most dangerous airports in the country. The airport is right downtown, and it's always foggy. Keith was so generous as to point that out. Keith also loves old Jack Murphy Stadium, which he says is "well-manicured." Hmm.

David Allen Wright had a nice double. He didn't score.

Our own Edward Norton Look-alike shut down the Padres side. 1-0


Cat Scratch Fever - 1

I'm going to try to blog after every inning tonight in honor of the Metropolitans first game against a newly emancipated Mike Piazza. We'll see how long this lasts. Someone remind me I have pizza in the oven.

I like Dave Roberts because of the pain he's caused Yankee fans, but doesn't it seem as though he's always standing on third base?

Mike Piazza has some kind of baby wooly mammoth growing on his face, or some absurdly thick goatee. He's also wearing #33, the same number as another New York sport icon, Patrick Ewing - the first man to have to wear bike shorts and tape down his .... And Piazza characteristically grounded into a double play to end the inning.

1-0


"It's just a game, man."

So sorry, Metropolitans fans, for not being quick to update today. Twas a long day at work for the Duder, and April 20 celebrations also took their toll. I'm off to Ralph's for some half and half, but with the Beloved Shea-dwellers playing a late game in San Diego there's no way I'm going to see the entire game.

Coming tomorrow, though, my hand to David Allen Wright, will be several updates, including a new unbridledly optimistic win total prediction, new (hopefully) magic number, new nady stats, a new BBPOTS player of the game, and a new recap, albeit with the analytical perspective of someone who didn't actually watch the game. I write this I am also in the first stages of conceptualizing a "Wild Card" entry for tomorrow, as well. So buckle your seatbelts, faithful of the Flushing fighters. I shall return.

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