Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The BBPOTS McLaughlin Group

Without the use of search engines or baseball-reference.com, name the former Metropolitans with their numbers retired by Canadian baseball teams!

Cat Scratch Fever - Second Manassas Edition

No wonder Victor Zambrano was demoted from generalissimo, he's the dumbest pitcher this cat has ever seen.

One all-star player on the Braves, sure, throw him the same pitch 6 straight times. Hang a few over the plate why don't you? Good thing we didn't give up any prospects to get this guy!

Unable to keep down solid food or watch the post-game, I flipped channels to keep my despair at bay. "What a disaster!" I thought. Then I saw Paula on the Real World and quickly realized it wasn't so bad after all.

So tomorrow the Metropolitans play the White Devil Braves for a series win, but who knows which of Mr. Met's patron's will show up? - literally! Caros Uno and Clifford Floyd are day to day. And since it's a day game after a night game, Paulie "Ho! Menus!" LoDuca will probably be replaced by the Cruz Bustamante of baseball, Ramon Castro.

Yikes!

Addendum: After the first 60-loss season in franchise history, there's bound to be some antics from Stephon Marbury tomorrow night after the last Knicks' game of the season. Don't be surprised if he tries to kill Larry Brown on his hospital bed - like Tatagglia's thugs tried to do to Brando! Stay tuned to SNY after the replay!


Recap

Well, folks, it's hard to do much when you're hitting against a guy with three pitches working, your starting pitcher gives up three dingers, and two thirds of your outfield is "day to day." At least we didn't go back and forth for nine innings before blowing it late, which is how we usually perform against Atlanta. Let's try to forget this one.

BBPOTS Player of the Game: Chris Woodward

Tuesday's talking points memo

Well gang, I hope you don't expect a pitchers' duel tonight. The Metropolitans' own Victor "El General" Zambrano (as opposed, say, to Pedro "El Mahico" Martinez), 1-0 with a 5.40 ERA will toe the rubber against the Braves' Kyle Davies, 0-1 and 8.38.

El General was 0-3 against Los Bravos last year, but took a 2.84 ERA with those losses. No Mets hitter has more than four ABs against Davies.

But for our beloved baseballers, they must seize on this opportunity to strike while the iron is hot. No team has ever taken a five-game pennant lead this early in the season, and though we won't deliver a knockout blow in April to a team that has won 14 straight division titles, this is a huge chance to put the Braves on the ropes.

Today's unbridledly optimistic win total prediction is 119.

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